Masculinity Untangled: The Strength We Were Never Taught

Breaking The Chains Of Masculinity

Emotional intelligence is more than just understanding emotions. It’s the foundation of real strength—the kind that could actually change the world if more people understood it.

Imagine a world rooted in emotional intelligence. One where people lead with empathy, process guilt in healthy ways, and make decisions from a place of awareness instead of fear. That’s not a fantasy. That’s a possibility. A future we could build—if we stopped running from what we feel and actually started learning how to feel.

Regardless of your spiritual or religious beliefs, there’s one truth that stands on its own: the science of our nervous system and how we experience emotion is real. It’s not up for debate. It doesn’t need a Bible verse or a political speech to validate it. It just is. And as human beings, we should care about that—because every one of us is living life through the lens of our emotions, whether we realize it or not.

But here’s the problem: most of us were never taught the truth about emotions. In fact, many of us were taught the opposite.

Maybe you were raised by people who only showed love when you acted the way they wanted—conditional love disguised as care. Maybe you were taught that anger, lust, jealousy, grief—any big emotion—was wrong or sinful. That if you felt it, something was broken in you.

But that’s a lie.

Those emotions aren’t bad. They’re human. They’re your body and brain reacting to life. And there’s real science to back that up.

There are healthy ways to feel every emotion—and unhealthy ways to avoid them. But when no one teaches us the difference, we start running. We suppress, numb, avoid, and deny what we don’t know how to process. And your body? It adapts. Your nervous system builds coping mechanisms just to survive.

But survival mode? It becomes a prison. It disconnects you from your life, from yourself, and from others.

And the only way out of that prison is to feel. To face it. To build emotional intelligence. And that starts with healthy guilt.

Guilt Isn’t the Enemy—It’s the Guide

Guilt, when it’s healthy, isn’t shame. It’s not self-hate. It’s accountability. It’s the voice inside that says, “You know better. Do better.” It fuels growth. It creates self-awareness. It’s what separates someone who evolves from someone who keeps repeating harm.

So why aren’t we teaching this? Why isn’t this being built into schools, churches, and homes?

Because emotional intelligence gives power back to the individual. And systems built on control? They can’t survive that.

The Cost of Emotional Ignorance

Let’s be real—most of the people in power today are emotionally weak.

They don’t know how to process guilt. They don’t know how to apologize without spinning it into blame. They don’t know how to lead with empathy. And yet… we let them lead anyway.

Why?

Because we’ve been trained to obey, not to feel.

That’s the role religion has played in many people’s lives. Instead of connecting us to something greater—something divine within ourselves—religion became about behavior. Follow the rules. Sit still. Don’t ask questions. Don’t feel too much. Just believe what we say and act how we tell you.

That broke the connection between emotional intelligence and spirituality. It replaced divine intuition with fear-based obedience.

And we’ve created generations of people who don’t know the difference between unhealthy guilt and healthy guilt. People who can’t admit when they’re wrong because they’ve never been taught how to feel their way through a mistake. People who will blindly defend political parties, religious leaders, and institutions they don’t even fully understand—just because their group told them to.

That’s not intelligence. That’s emotional weakness.

Toxic Masculinity Is Just Emotional Cowardice

As a big country boy from the woods—and a former Division I college football player—I’ve seen firsthand how men are trained to suppress everything. We’re taught that emotional control means not feeling anything at all. That if you cry, if you hesitate, if you reflect, you’re weak.

But here’s the truth: you have to feel emotions in order to control them. Suppression isn’t strength—it’s fear in disguise. A ticking time bomb.

And when emotionally repressed men are the ones making decisions—about laws, justice, families, war, and religion—we all suffer.

That’s what toxic masculinity really is: men in power who don’t know how to feel, pretending that makes them strong, while making decisions that destroy lives.

Why We Need to Stop Letting Weak Men Lead

We’ve been led by emotionally disconnected, fragile men for too long—men who fear guilt, avoid growth, and lead through control instead of compassion. And that’s exactly why this country is falling apart.

People defend politicians, pastors, and policies they can’t even explain—just because “their side” said so. That’s not strength. That’s emotional laziness. And it’s dangerous.

Because if you don’t know how to process guilt, you can’t grow. And if you can’t grow, you have no business leading anyone.

It’s time to rebuild.

When we develop emotional intelligence, we see the world clearly. We know when a politician is full of it. We know when a pastor is preaching fear, not faith. We recognize manipulation because we’re no longer numb to the way things feel.

And that kind of awareness? It starts at home.

If a weak man raises his kids to suppress their emotions because he can’t handle his own, he’s just raising another emotionally broken generation. And we’ve had enough of that.

So yeah—I’m calling out the men.

Stop being a little bitch.

Feel your damn life.

Teach your kids to do the same.

Because a man who can’t sit with his own emotions is a danger to everyone around him. And he has no business leading anyone.

We need to stop standing with political parties and religious groups that operate from fear, shame, and power—and start standing from a foundation of emotional intelligence. One built on accountability, truth, and human decency. One that actually gives a damn about all people.

The Revolution Starts Within

If we do this work—if we unlearn emotional avoidance and start teaching emotional intelligence—we can raise a generation that heals what’s been broken. A generation that leads with real strength. A generation that doesn’t need to be told what to think—because they know how to feel.

And that’s the kind of leadership this world has been waiting for.